TURNING 50: REFLECTIONS, LESSONS, AND EMBRACING WHAT COMES NEXT

In the lead up to my 50th birthday, I’ve found myself reflecting on the journey that has brought me here. What I’ve learned, the challenges, and the wins.

Turning 50 is often seen as a milestone filled with mixed emotions - some fear it as a sign of loss of youth, or fear of aging - but for me, it’s been quite the opposite. While life has certainly had its ups and downs, I’m stepping into this new chapter with a deep sense of contentment, acceptance, and excitement for what’s to come.

This sense of contentment didn’t arrive overnight. It’s been a long process of learning to accept who I am, understanding what my body needs, and shifting my mindset - my preconditioned thoughts from childhood - around aging and health. The way I think about myself, my body, and my future has made all the difference as I’ve entered this milestone birthday.

CONTENTMENT AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE: THE FOUNDATIONS OF GROWTH

For much of my life, like many women, I ignored or suppressed my symptoms because they were inconvenient. Whether it was a headache, bloating, or PMS, I saw these things as nuisances to get rid of rather than as messages from my body. But everything changed when I began my training as a naturopath. I learned that our bodies are constantly communicating with us through symptoms - our hormones, cycles, and physical sensations are all part of a larger conversation about what our bodies need.

This was a major turning point for me. Symptoms aren’t just annoyances to be dismissed; they are signals, clues about what’s going on inside. Whether your body needs rest, nourishment, or hormonal support, learning to listen instead of suppressing these signs is key. I spent years not realising this, trying to "push through" life without respecting what my body was telling me. It wasn’t until my 40s, while studying and working through my own health challenges, that I truly understood this.

One of the most eye-opening lessons was realising that we live in a world designed for men’s steady hormone rhythms. Men’s hormones don’t fluctuate the way women’s do, and yet most of the systems we live in - work, healthcare, even the rhythms of daily life - are structured around this steady - state. Meanwhile, women’s bodies are constantly shifting, with hormones ebbing and flowing in cycles. Once I began syncing with my cycle rather than fighting against it, everything changed. I’ve since made it my mission to teach this to my teens, particularly my daughters, because I wish I had known it when I was their age. Our cycles are not a burden - they are a powerful, natural rhythm that deserves respect and care.

ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS: LESSONS FOR EVERY DECADE

To celebrate my 50th, I asked my followers to send in questions. They were centred around what I’d tell myself at different ages. And I’ve loved reflecting on them. So here’s what I’d tell myself at different stages of life:

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR 20-YEAR-OLD SELF?

In my 20s, I spent far too much time trying to fit in, moulding myself to others’ expectations. I would tell my younger self to stop worrying about what others think and embrace self-acceptance early on. Stop people pleasing (which is what trying to fit in is.) I wish I had known then that the real key to happiness lies in being true to yourself, rather than constantly trying to meet external expectations.

I’d also tell her to listen to her body. Every month, your body is preparing for a potential baby, and if that doesn’t happen, it needs to recover from the loss. That’s a huge process - something I never truly appreciated until much later. Rest, nourishment, and care are vital during this time, and I didn’t realise how much my body needed it. Instead, I pushed through, trying to keep up with a life that wasn’t always in tune with my body’s needs.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR 30-YEAR-OLD SELF?

My 30s were some of the hardest years of my life - physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was pregnant or breastfeeding for the entire decade, and on top of that, life threw some major challenges my way, like losing our home in a fire. The lesson I wish I had learned earlier was that it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own. That a good Mum looks after everyone else first, ignoring their needs. Letting go of the belief that you need to be everything to everyone is essential.

I was constantly feeling like I didn’t have enough time or energy, and I ignored my body’s signals because I felt like I didn’t have the luxury to stop. And look, it was a crazy, hectic, traumatic time of life, especially when I was 35 and our home burned down while I was pregnant with my third child.

I thought I had to keep going, to keep doing, without taking time for rest or self-care. But I’ve since learned that self-care isn’t selfish - it’s essential. We’re not machines, and we can’t run on empty. If I could tell my 30-year-old self one thing, it would be that prioritising your own health and well-being makes you a better mother, partner, and person. I’d also teach my 30-year-old self what true self-care is.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR 40-YEAR-OLD SELF?

Ah, the 40s. This decade was incredibly busy for me. (Like it is for you too, I’m sure!) Between family life, work, and starting to experience the shifts of perimenopause, it often felt like I was being pulled in every direction. I would remind myself that menopause isn’t the end - it’s a new beginning. There’s so much societal messaging that menopause represents a loss, or the end, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, the 40s come with hormonal fluctuations and symptoms, but they also mark the start of a new era where we can experience greater freedom from the demands of our bodies.

I would also tell my 40-year-old self to slow down and truly prioritise self-care. (In case I didn’t get the message in my 30s!) In my 40s, I began doing more work on my mindset and self-coaching, which helped me recognise the thoughts that were holding me back, keeping me stuck feeling miserable. I started to understand how much my thoughts influence my feelings, actions, and outcomes.

This mindset work was a game-changer for me, and it’s something I wish I had learned earlier in life. I learned that trying to be happy all the time is unrealistic - without the sad, we don’t appreciate the happy. Processing emotions and moving on is key, instead of staying stuck in negativity. I also realized that I can’t control how others respond to situations. What I can control is how I respond - either with frustration or with acceptance.

Oh, and don’t be afraid to get a second opinion! If someone dismisses you or how you’re feeling, but you feel something is off, keep advocating for yourself. Please talk to someone else and get your concerns looked into. I learned this the hard way when I was told I was too young for perimenopause, missing an opportunity to better support my body.

I would also tell my 40-year-old self to slow down and truly prioritise self-care. (In case I didn’t get the message in my 30s!) In my 40s, I began doing more work on my mindset and self-coaching, which helped me recognise the thoughts that were holding me back, keeping me stuck feeling miserable. I started to understand how much my thoughts influence my feelings, actions, and outcomes. This mindset work was a game-changer for me, and it’s something I wish I had learned earlier in life.

WHAT WAS YOUR MOST CHALLENGING DECADE?

Without a doubt, my 30s were the toughest. Between pregnancy, breastfeeding, rebuilding our home, and navigating life’s many demands, I often felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. Looking back now, I’m amazed at the resilience of our bodies and minds. We are capable of so much more than we often realise. But I also wish I had honoured my body more during that time, listened to its needs instead of pushing through exhaustion and overwhelm, seeing it’s cries for help as an inconvenience.

WHAT’S IT LIKE NOT BEING DRIVEN BY HORMONES ANYMORE?

Liberating! While hormones still play a role in my health, being post-menopause means I’m no longer on the rollercoaster of highs and lows. There’s a freedom in no longer being tied to a cycle, no longer having to plan around periods or manage PMS. I feel more in control of my health, and I’ve come to appreciate this new state of balance. Some of this freedom also comes from my kids getting older and more independent, as well as being more financially stable with a retirement plan for the next decade. There’s a freedom in not being tied to a cycle, no longer having to plan around periods or deal with PMS. But my hormones being settled has definitely played a big role.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-COACHING AND MINDSET SHIFTS

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the past decade is the power of my brain to run off thoughts and beliefs that I’m not even consciously aware of. I’ve spent a lot of time doing self-coaching - reflecting on my thoughts, recognising limiting beliefs, and rewiring how I think about myself and my body. I also learned that if I don’t voice my expectations, no one can meet them. Communicating clearly and owning my needs has been life-changing. Our thoughts directly influence our feelings and actions, and this is something I wish I had known earlier. By learning to coach myself daily, I’ve been able to create a sense of peace and purpose, of contentment (which comes from self-acceptance, self-love), even during difficult times.

Menopause is not the end - it’s a new beginning. I’ve let go of old narratives about aging and instead embraced this phase of life as one filled with freedom and possibility.

FINAL THOUGHTS: MOVING INTO MY 50S WITH EXCITEMENT AND PURPOSE

As I move into my 50s, I feel more grounded than ever. Self-acceptance, self-care, and a deep connection with my body (and its messages through symptoms) have become my pillars. The mindset work I’ve done has helped me see the direct link between my thoughts and my outcomes, and this awareness has created a deep sense of contentment that I carry with me into this new chapter.

I have plans, goals, and a sense of purpose to guide me through this next decade. Life may not always be easy, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s beauty in both the highs and the lows. The personal growth and the lessons learned make life rich and meaningful. I am more excited than words can convey about turning 50 and embracing all the potential that this new decade holds.